Tag Archives: poetry

Battle of The Sexes:ROUND 2

At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down

Finally , the guys’ side of the story.
( I must admit, it’s pretty good.)
We always hear ‘the rules’
From the female side.

Now here are the rules from the male side.

Please note.. These are all numbered ‘1’


1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It’s like the full moon
Or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. ‘Yes’ and ‘No’ are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it.

That’s what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you think you’re fat, you probably are.
Don’t ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color..

Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say ‘nothing,’ we will act like nothing’s wrong
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to,

Expect an answer you don’t want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere,

absolutely anything you wear is fine… Really .

1. Don’t ask us what we’re thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
But did you know men really don’t mind that? It’s like camping

Haven. . .

Dear,Poetry Book Thief

I pay a tribute of head 2 the numbskull tht stole my previous poetry book..

I dont need 2 be in fashion 2 know tht Googgi is a fake version of Gucci,
Just like u are a fake version of any poet worth their writing,
You hypocritical diction jacker,
so sprung up on ur own lies u would make a better Jack in the box,
Even if u went 2 a high priced private school,
trust me u still n never will have class,
when u talk i cant hear a word u say coz u r like a sprinler,
dude say it,dont spray it,
bragging about having skill and ur rhymes being sick,
who told u making people ill by givin em ear infections was cool,
there might b hope 4 u yet since am here right nw,
i’ll school u on life’s lessons on tru skill,
Spitting rhymes 2 ur chick who is as old as a 2D movie n trust me i eint refering 2 her bust size,
dude i pity ur childhood coz u never played with a hand puppet,coz u were busy using ur sock 4 other purposes n am nt talkin bwt wearing em on ur feet
when people say u r retarded,trust me it eint a compliment,
You a 1minute man,no wonder ur chick left sayin she dont like fastfoods,
You the inspiration behind Wiz Khalifa’s song,
‘Black n Yellow’=’Your face n Your teeth’
So quit while u r behind,coz while am on tht fast track 2 riches u still stuck in traffic,
My chick is fly,whereas urs is still stuck in the terminal,
i dont need 2 have class coz i am on the faculty,
so dont compare urself 2 me coz 2 get 2 my level u can go ahead n queue up 4 tht public elevator,
go get ur act up coz jst coz u play E.A Sports doesnt mean u got Game
i’ll put an end to this mental assault,put a tombstone on it like the undertaker,n with two fingers in the sky:Deuces….
Lawi out….