Tag Archives: awesome

#IAmJealous @MovieJabber


So yes..i gues the title summarizes the feeling i bear right now…

why…why…why…?

I NEED to be in this…..I want to be in this…hahah please please please let me get on the next one..

PLEASE!!!!

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What is THIS?

I know should have probably started with what am ranting on about,because you are to lazy / clueless about the wonders that is YouTube.

So these guys called MovieJabber went a step further and made a trailer for the upcoming(already in theaters): X-MEN: DAYS OF FUTURE PAST and i was downright appalled (not that i bear any grounds to justify my existence in front of their camera) that they didn’t include me…. okay, okay you don’t want to hear my failing plan at getting on the show so i’ll just succumb to my troll nature and show you the clip(s):

X-Men: Days Of Future Past, KENYAN PREMIER

Mandazi Man has the mutant ability to control a delicious pastry but does he know how to dress?

5ebe29974316

The Announcer 2: Future, Past, What!?

Social Media

What are YOU watching now? What series/movie…?What other human being is watching the same thing and has something to say about it? Want to rant, review, praise…? Be part of the word on the street.
Welcome…(jacked this from their About page)

The Crew
(Part of)The Crew

Facebook: MovieJabber

Twitter: @MovieJabber

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Moving On Up


So the main concensus that me and the voices in my head have reached is that we need money and though we might have ventured on some very barren and even at times illegal business opportunities we have decided to settle on a shirt printing idea…you know print actual FUNNY and AWESOME shirts that will be unique to only the buyer…as well as Football Jerseys (there shall be a discount for Chelsea fans).

Right now this plan is still in its infancy stage and all support i.e Orders from you shall be heavily welcomed as well as any help you think you can offer will be great…There will be an updated post containing prices so keep checking the blog…aight 🙂

Some of the designs are like the ones below:

THE DEVIL’S DOUBLE: CHARLIE CHAPLIN EDITION


So for those of you well acquainted with this Oldies film am sure you must admit that he was the precursor before the infamous yet dangerously funny Mr.Bean.

Though he was quite the rib-cracker i do believe that the speech he gave as Hitler’s double surely made my  no-railway and no-engine Train of thought steaming(yes i haven’t upgraded to the electric train yet,i still prefer to think slowly and rationally about things,now stop raising those eyebrows,i am profusely intelligent just so you know :p)

CHARLIE CHAPLIN’S :THE DICTATOR

I’m sorry but I don’t want to be an Emperor, that’s not my business. I don’t want to rule or conquer anyone. I should like to help everyone if possible, Jew, gentile, black man, white. We all want to help one another, human beings are like that. We all want to live by each other’s happiness, not by each other’s misery. We don’t want to hate and despise one another. In this world there is room for everyone and the earth is rich and can provide for everyone.

The way of life can be free and beautiful. But we have lost the way.

Greed has poisoned men’s souls, has barricaded the world with hate;
has goose-stepped us into misery and bloodshed.

We have developed speed but we have shut ourselves in:
machinery that gives abundance has left us in want.
Our knowledge has made us cynical,
our cleverness hard and unkind.
We think too much and feel too little:
More than machinery we need humanity;
More than cleverness we need kindness and gentleness.

Without these qualities, life will be violent and all will be lost.

The aeroplane and the radio have brought us closer together. The very nature of these inventions cries out for the goodness in men, cries out for universal brotherhood for the unity of us all. Even now my voice is reaching millions throughout the world, millions of despairing men, women and little children, victims of a system that makes men torture and imprison innocent people. To those who can hear me I say “Do not despair”.

The misery that is now upon us is but the passing of greed, the bitterness of men who fear the way of human progress: the hate of men will pass and dictators die and the power they took from the people, will return to the people and so long as men die [now] liberty will never perish. . .

Soldiers: don’t give yourselves to brutes, men who despise you and enslave you, who regiment your lives, tell you what to do, what to think and what to feel, who drill you, diet you, treat you as cattle, as cannon fodder.

Don’t give yourselves to these unnatural men, machine men, with machine minds and machine hearts. You are not machines. You are not cattle. You are men. You have the love of humanity in your hearts. You don’t hate, only the unloved hate. Only the unloved and the unnatural. Soldiers: don’t fight for slavery, fight for liberty.

In the seventeenth chapter of Saint Luke it is written:
– “The kingdom of God is within man”
Not one man, nor a group of men, but in all men; in you, the people.

You the people have the power, the power to create machines, the power to create happiness. You the people have the power to make life free and beautiful, to make this life a wonderful adventure. Then in the name of democracy let’s use that power, let us all unite. Let us fight for a new world, a decent world that will give men a chance to work, that will give you the future and old age and security. By the promise of these things, brutes have risen to power, but they lie. They do not fulfil their promise, they never will. Dictators free themselves but they enslave the people. Now let us fight to fulfill that promise. Let us fight to free the world, to do away with national barriers, do away with greed, with hate and intolerance. Let us fight for a world of reason, a world where science and progress will lead to all men’s happiness.

Soldiers! In the name of democracy: let us all unite!

WHAT’S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN CHARLIE CHAPLIN AND ADOLF HITLER?

THE TRUTH: CAN YOU HANDLE IT?


So the general ideologies of everyone at some point of their lives get threatened,shaken and at worst CHANGED,since after all the basic concept that we consider “THE TRUTH” only remains to be irrefutable until some other concept or belief is introduced and as such “The TRUH” gets redifined i.e The world was belived to be flat until someone else proved that it was spherical in nature…as such its not too much too hope that This Illegal and wrongly termed drug that is known as Marijuana will be later understood to be a herb and less of a harm than Ciggarettes(I henceforth declare that the before mentioned statement is hypothetical and the author may/may not agree with it :D)

So anyway back to the funny stuff 🙂

DEAR PARENTS,THIS IS THE TRUTH:

THE TRUTH ABOUT THE JOKER:

THE TRUTH ABOUT WOMEN(or rather the lack of understanding them)

yes doreen,this might be you

THE TRUTH ABOUT “THE BIG QUESTION” :DO THESE PANTS MAKE MY BUT LOOK BIG

THE TRUTH ABOUT MY PERSONALITY

THE TRUTH ABOUT ME AFTER A HORROR MOVIE

EvilL meets BaD:HOW TO BE BAD


So generally there are alot of fake BAD wannabe’s who just can’t cut it and thanks to these illustrations which shall be my teaching aids, “technically borrowed” from tommymonster.com so as to try and pass a point across that these are some of the ways to get your Douchebag ON, and being the total “Opposite-of-a-Female-Donkey”, THIS WAS ALLOWED AND AGREED TO AS STATED BY THE COUNCIL OF AWESOMISTS.Stay Frosty.

WARNING READER DISCRETION IS ADVISED

Okay this isn't being bad its just plain Murderous
TH END

YES,I TROLL: SLEEP EDITION


So basically after College Humor,my inter web activities seemed limited until i found this wonderful site called 9Gag which Ladies Under Gentlemen is very very cool,trolling all night and day has never seemed so much more intriguing than playing Super Mario(for all those who haven’t played it “4 SHAME”…

So basically i tend to pick out the posts that bring me the greatest joy and share them on my blog so as to entice your readership as well as have them on standby so that anytime,current company is boring i.e Adam Kiboi decided to go on random adventures that lead to possible arrests or Reuben Mungai decides to pass-out or Doreen Gakii decides to go on about some meaningless thing like how “I should Google every annoying thing that she says” or decipher one of her blonde comments,i can just switch on my opera mini and have myself a laugh.

So before i bore you with all these words,onwards to the funny pages 😀

THE SLEEP EDITION

Are you safe?

For all you who are faced by such hard decisions i suggest you get yourself aTeddy Bear because they tend to do their part when you go Beddie Bye-Bye

Have you ever wondered how sometimes your dreams start all innocent and peaceful and before you know it things get messed up and you don’t know how it happened well using the illustration below the whole concept is analysed and an answer can safely be assumed to have been reached 🙂

Da Fuq

and by the way i know you have all been curious to discover whether The Very Dark Lord Vader does other stuff with the Force unlike the rest of the goodie-goodie two-shoes….*long whine~*The Force should not be abused*long whine*, well here is proof to satisfy your curiosity 🙂

May The Force Be With You

ad

ITS A MESSED UP WORLD :p


You have to realize at some point in life that we are humans are slowly changing or as scientists prefer to call it “Evolving”, though its nature taking its due course i have to say there are certain changes of evolution that deeply trouble me

Exhibit A:

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But worse still is the whole aspect of Forcing religion onto our future generations without providing adequate support and explanations and as such one shouldnt be shocked when stuff like this happens:

Exhibit B:

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Parents! Future Parents and all ye who have been given the right to look after a youngling in your place of residence you should be ready to be accountable for some of these youngin’s behaviours when they grow up… coz you know you had suspicions when you came home and found your “Coitus” scented candles lit by “accident” or because there was a “power shortage”…SO NOT TRUE…and here’s proof :p

Exhibit C:

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WARNING:THE CONTENT YOU ARE ABOUT TO VIEW IS IN ESSENCE VERY GRAPHICALLY TRUE, THE SCENES THAT ARE TO BE DISPLAYED SHOULD NOT BE(you know you want to do it as well) replicated:

Funny comic strips - nicolas cage hates justin bieber

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#TEAMUNDERWORLD:RETURN OF THE TRUE VAMPIRES


So after being tortured by being forced to watch a bunch of vampires acting like sissies in Vampire Diaries,True Blood, and lets not forget the Disco Ball vampires in Twilight series our minds will hopefully get a new antivirus program called UNDERWORLD: AWAKENING nad for you toddlers out there you can go locate the previous awesome versions in you local video shop: The first film, Underworld, was released in 2003, and the second film, Underworld: Evolution, was released in 2006. A prequel, Underworld: Rise of the Lycans, was released on January 23, 2009. A fourth film, Underworld: Awakening, is set to release on January 20, 2012.(I WIKIPED this :))

LISTEN TO INSTRUCTIONS :D


So under the direct orders of the higher-ups at the United FEDERATION of AWESOME…i had to stop lazying around and proceed to schooling a few of you on the simplest of rules LISTEN TO INSTRUCTIONS…some of you think they are to awesome to accept any hill-billy challenges like getting yourself in danger..there is a difference between living on the edge and sitting on a branch while hacking at the very same branch..NOT COOL..and since some of you just like the cool pics i always use I’ll go straight to the point.. 😀

and just to drive in the point of how the organisation is alarmingly AWESOME :p

BEST BELIEVE

Now to get back to my very important busy schedule: you know you are jealous..

THE END

HOW EARPHONES GET TANGLED UP :D and Chuck Norris is Old News


So have you ever wondered how those annoying times occur..you know!! how earphones get all tangled up well here is the answer..and watch out the next step is THE CURE TO CANCER 🙂

In other news LITERALLY..who is SUPERMAN when we have this guy…MY NEW HERO 🙂

ZERO FCKS GIVEN(Who is Chuck Norris BTW)

Anti-Illuminati by B.O.B


Yes, I feel the end, the end is close
The same thing happened eon’s ago
To know exactly you have to read up some more
Everyday technology speeds up some more
As is above, so is below
Some feel the heat, yet some feel the cold
We are the souls, yes we have been chose
Some roll with angels and demons and ghosts
But shh, hold up Bob, Don’t go there
You know that they watching, they all see and stare but
They can’t stop me, I’m already there
And y’all aint seen sh-t but y’all already scared
I’m gone, high like frutose, frutose
You wanna know the truth, really, you gone, you gone
It’ll blow ya out ya mind like a UFO, UFO
I’m basically a resident of Pluto, Pluto
You know, but you’ll probably be the same one hating
Saying every rapper is in the freemasons
While the cops giving out free mase to your face
Now how do that taste
I’m outta my mind
These video’s tellin’ yo lies, bruh
Tellin yo, we holding evil hand signs bruh
Last time I checked I’m from the eastside bruh
So do your research and make ya own mind up
’cause us musicians have influence on the mic
But they don’t like that so they conquer and divide
Double-H N-D, hip hop never dies
So shoot all you want, but we fly
Because you know, no one man should have all that power
Obviously cause it’s only one power
But nevermind, y’all keep worshipping Towers
While the clock keeps handing yo hours
But pucker up because the truth gets sour
More sour than the sour diesel I devour
Hear me by the hour, I give ya fifty vowels
When I brain storm its like a shower
So pull out your towels
And dont let em play you
Do your own thing
F-ck what they do
And if you good at something make sure they pay you
And if not take a thank you
Whether they praise you, or whether they hate you
It’s all about the attention that they pay you
Y’all on that grape drink
Try this grape juice
Shouts to Grand Hustle
We got that break through
And yes, it’s evident we better than the rest of these competitors
Really there aint no-one else ahead of us
Y’all was these verses off etc, etc
Cause they watching y’all like the Federers, owww
Kadoosh, kadoosh, kadoosh
It’s B.O.B and I’m out,
Peace

B my Valentine


Since my Valentine got a computer
My love life has taken a hit.
Nothing I say is important
Unless it’s a byte or a bit.
Before she got her new laptop,
Everything was just fine;
Now she says we can’t talk
Unless we both go online.
“But honey,” I said, “I’m attached to you;
Love is what I feel.”
“That keyword isn’t relevant,”
She said, with eyes of steel.
She clicked the keyboard furiously;
The screen was all she could see,
And then to my horror and shame,
She started describing me:
“Your motherboard needs upgrading;
Your OS needs help, too.
And you definitely need a big heatsink
To cool your CPU.”
“Don’t flame me, my sweet,” I pleaded.
“Not on Valentine’s Day.”
“Fix the bugs, and I’ll see,” she said,
While looking at me with dismay.
“What ever you want, my darling;
Whatever you need; you call it.
I’ll upload or download anything,
And then I’ll go install it.”
(Her hostile CD keeps replaying,
And though I don’t want to fight her,
Is this what I want for a Valentine?
I’ve been burned; can I rewrite her?)
“Are you all hard drive now,” I asked
“Is there no software in you?
Don’t you remember the good times?
Let our memories see us through.”
“LOL,” she said to me, chuckling.
“You’re nothing but adware.
“I’ve got four gigs of memory;
I’ve got no problem there.”
“Please, honey, we can save it,” I said.
“Our love means more than that.”
“That’s not in my cache; we’re going to crash,”
She said, as she turned me down flat.
(This woman has really changed;
Do I really want to chase her?
More and more I’m thinking
It might be nice to erase her.)
“Aw, honey, don’t talk like that,” I said.
“Can’t we just plug and play?
I hereby accept default,
And I’m yours, my love, come what may.
My goal is to make you happy;
I want to be your portal,
But your sudden, distant coldness
Would test the strongest mortal.
If we need a brand new interface,
So we can FTP,
I’m your go along, get along guy,
And I want you to stay with me.”
“If you want to get into my favorites,” she said,
And you want to get past my encryption,
If you want to get through my firewall,
Here is my only prescription.”
“First, put up your own Web site,
And e-mail me when it’s done.
I’ll check your page rank with Google,
And tell you if you’re the one.”
My life has become a real trial,
Since my Valentine got a computer.
If I want her to care about me again,
I guess I’ll have to reboot her.