Tag Archives: sleep

Sleeping Routine-“EXAM EDITION”


S1

Sleeping Routine the Night Before Finals

by Rosie

Let’s get one thing straight – we’re all procrastinators. It’s practically the only thing that unites the races, sexes and species in the animal kingdom. And it seems that everyone has a similar method for studying the night leading up to a final.

Before you even crack that textbook open for the first time (and possibly tear the plastic wrap off) it’s safe to pray to the Finals God. Without his mercy we have nothing to live for. This is a moment of desperation and even though you don’t believe in God, you need him by your side right now. Remember, there are no atheists in foxholes.

Whoa, okay wow there’s a lot of text in this book and slim to nil pics. Did NOT see that coming. And what’s with the font-size and margins? Are they trying to pack as much information as they can on this page? Jesus Fuc — sorry God, didn’t mean that please let me pass. It’s just — haha — okay I just feel a little light-headed is all maybe rocking back and forth will help.

NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! Rocking back and forth did not help. You know what I need a break. NO! No breaks, not yet. Okay, there’s no way I can read the entire book. Maybe I’ll just skim. Look for keywords and just get the jist of it. That’s all these tests are anyway — recall. But geez 32 pages in a chapter that’s a lot of skimming. Okay, getting a little dizzy. Lying down.

Okay, chapter skimming done. Reward yourself.

That’s how to get things done baby!! You do some chapter skimming. You get a reward. Phew, little tired from that though. OK, man up man up. Gotta ride the Bull. We knew we’d have to do this. Let’s just raid the roomie’s fridge right quick. OK OK OK LIQUID CANDY ENERGY LET’SGET PUMPED. 1 out of 6 chapters skimmed. LET’S GO BABY!

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK. I can’t do this. Next chapter was 42 pages!!! HAHA WHAT ISTHAT?! I CAN’T TAKE THIS. I’M NOT READY. FUCK FUCK FUCK. THINK. FUCK. OK, WE’REDEFINITELY NOT TAKING IT. IT’S TOO HARD. HAHA I’LL JUST BRUISE MYSELF UP A LITTLE.CAN’T LET A CRIPPLE TAKE A FINAL?!? THAT’S INHUMANE. I CAN DO THIS. I CAN DO THIS. ILOVE YOU MOM. I CAN DO THIS.

I can’t do this. Fuck.

Repeat tomorrow night for next final, right after watching a movie. Or two. And checking Facebook really quick.

S2

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YES,I TROLL: SLEEP EDITION


So basically after College Humor,my inter web activities seemed limited until i found this wonderful site called 9Gag which Ladies Under Gentlemen is very very cool,trolling all night and day has never seemed so much more intriguing than playing Super Mario(for all those who haven’t played it “4 SHAME”…

So basically i tend to pick out the posts that bring me the greatest joy and share them on my blog so as to entice your readership as well as have them on standby so that anytime,current company is boring i.e Adam Kiboi decided to go on random adventures that lead to possible arrests or Reuben Mungai decides to pass-out or Doreen Gakii decides to go on about some meaningless thing like how “I should Google every annoying thing that she says” or decipher one of her blonde comments,i can just switch on my opera mini and have myself a laugh.

So before i bore you with all these words,onwards to the funny pages 😀

THE SLEEP EDITION

Are you safe?

For all you who are faced by such hard decisions i suggest you get yourself aTeddy Bear because they tend to do their part when you go Beddie Bye-Bye

Have you ever wondered how sometimes your dreams start all innocent and peaceful and before you know it things get messed up and you don’t know how it happened well using the illustration below the whole concept is analysed and an answer can safely be assumed to have been reached 🙂

Da Fuq

and by the way i know you have all been curious to discover whether The Very Dark Lord Vader does other stuff with the Force unlike the rest of the goodie-goodie two-shoes….*long whine~*The Force should not be abused*long whine*, well here is proof to satisfy your curiosity 🙂

May The Force Be With You

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SIGNS YOU ARE GROWIN’ OLD


1. Your house plants are alive, and you can”t smoke any of them. 😀

2. Fooling around in a twin bed is out of the question.

3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.

4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed.

5. You hear your favorite song on an elevator.

6. You watch the Weather Channel.

7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of hook up and break up.

8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14.

9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as “dressed up.”

10. Now you’re the one calling the police because those damn kids next door won’t turn down the stereo.

11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling dirty jokes around you.

12. You don’t know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.

13. Your car insurance goes down.

14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonalds leftovers.

15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.

16. You no longer take naps from noon to 6PM.

17. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one.

18. Eating a basket of buffalo wings at 3 AM would severely upset, rather than settle, your stomach.

19. You go to the drug store for ibuprofen and antacids, not condoms and pregnancy tests.

20. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer “pretty good stuff.”

21. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.

22. “I just can’t drink the way I used to,” replaces, “I’m never going to drink that much again.”

23. 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.

24. You no longer drink at home to save money before going to a bar.

25. You read this entire list looking desperately for one sign that doesn’t apply to you.