Wait,you seriously think am lying…..
The following views are Courtesy of Solomon Ogonji
1. You see a gorgeous girl at a party.
You go up to her and say, “I am very rich. Marry me!”
That’s DIRECT MARKETING.
2. You are at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl.
> One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says,
“He’s very rich. Marry him!”
3. You see a gorgeous girl at a party.
You go up to her and get her telephone number.
The next day, you call her and say, “Hi, I am very rich. Marry me!”
4. You see a gorgeous girl at a party.
You get up and straighten your tie. You walk up to her and pour her a
drink. You open the door for her. You pick up her bag after she drops
it. You offer her a ride and you say, “By the way, I am very rich.
Will you marry me?”
That’s PUBLIC RELATIONS.
5. You see a gorgeous girl at a party.
She walks up to you and says, “You are very rich. Can you marry me?”
That’s BRAND RECOGNITION.
6. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You walk up to her and say, “I am very rich. Marry me!” She gives you a nice hard slap on your face. That’s CUSTOMER FEEDBACK .
7. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You walk up to her and say, I am very rich. Marry me!” And she introduces you to her husband. That’s DEMAND AND SUPPLY GAP.
8. You see a gorgeous girl at a party.
You walk up to her and before you can say anything, another person
comes along and tells her, “I am very rich. Marry me!”
That’s MARKET COMPETITION.
9. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You walk up to her and before you can say anything, another person comes along and tells her, “I am very rich. Marry me! And she follows him. That’s LOSING MARKET SHARE .
10. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You walk up to her and before you can say, “I am very rich. Marry me!”, YOUR WIFE TURNS UP! That’s BARRIER TO NEW MARKET ENTRY
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down
Finally , the guys’ side of the story.
( I must admit, it’s pretty good.)
We always hear ‘the rules’
From the female side.
Now here are the rules from the male side.
Please note.. These are all numbered ‘1’
1. Men are NOT mind readers.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports. It’s like the full moon
Or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!
1. ‘Yes’ and ‘No’ are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it.
That’s what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.
1. If you think you’re fat, you probably are.
Don’t ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one
1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color..
Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say ‘nothing,’ we will act like nothing’s wrong
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to,
Expect an answer you don’t want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere,
absolutely anything you wear is fine… Really .
1. Don’t ask us what we’re thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball or golf.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
But did you know men really don’t mind that? It’s like camping
Save image as…
‘kjhvkhvkhbkhjbkjhb.jpg already exists.
Do you want to replace it?
I have too much porn.
How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb?
One to screw it in,
one to excoriate men for creating the need for illumination,
one to blame men for inventing such a faulty means of illumination,
one to suggest the whole “screwing” bit to be too “rape-like”,
one to deconstruct the lightbulb itself as being phallic,
one to blame men for not changing the bulb,
one to blame men for trying to change the bulb instead of letting a woman do it,
one to blame men for creating a society that discourages women from changing light bulbs,
one to blame men for creating a society where women change too many light bulbs,
one to advocate that lightbulb changers should have wage parity with electricians,
one to alert the media that women are now “out-lightbulbing” men,
and one to just sit there taking pictures for her blog for photo-evidence that men are unnecessary.
– Watching the Women’s World Cup reminded me of when I was first learning the controls to FIFA.