Tag Archives: Lawi Odera

LEAF SITE


So considering that humor is vast and you people can’t seem to get enough,i have added an extra site to tickle your humor and for the intelligent ones there is something in the navigation bar for all you quote addicts 🙂
so all you need to do is type in
http://schizoidlawi.blog.com

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LET’S JUST CALL IT “THE QUESTIONAIRRE” :)


THE FEMALE REVOLUTION

In one word i would describe it as ANARCHY,but hey tht’s just me and my chauvenistic personality.

So while am still on the search to get the ultimate relationship questionairre 9gag saved me the trouble by aiding me with an already designed questionairre fully equiped with visual aides :)…So all interested parties should apply now! any type of doodling shall lead to immediate disqualification(DO NOT LET THE CHAUVENISTIC PERSONALITY CHANGE YOUR MIND SET OF ME :P)

In other news Adam Kiboi and Doreen Gakii in short technically The whole “SPARTAN ARMY”,i think there are a few habits we need to kick 🙂 you know like this one 😀

Dear readers,the writer of this blog is about to embark on an unknown adventure that might render him in an out of body experience in the not oo distant future and may not be able to write/blog for a while,so bear with the break and hopefully i shall return with exciting tales…

 

EvilL meets BaD:HOW TO BE BAD


So generally there are alot of fake BAD wannabe’s who just can’t cut it and thanks to these illustrations which shall be my teaching aids, “technically borrowed” from tommymonster.com so as to try and pass a point across that these are some of the ways to get your Douchebag ON, and being the total “Opposite-of-a-Female-Donkey”, THIS WAS ALLOWED AND AGREED TO AS STATED BY THE COUNCIL OF AWESOMISTS.Stay Frosty.

WARNING READER DISCRETION IS ADVISED

Okay this isn't being bad its just plain Murderous
TH END

GENUINE AND UNDENIABLE DRINKING REASON :D


 

So for all of you out there who consider drinking as a blessing well i am here to prove you critics wrong and to illustrate to you how sometimes its circumstance that drives us to over indulge in the nectar of the gods, and somehow end up ina state of mind that at times is indescribable or beyond description 🙂

REASONS WHY NOT TO BE A HERO::BIBLICAL::


So incase of TE END OF THE WORLD scenarios i would direct you to my other posts:

https://schizoidlawi.wordpress.com/2011/05/05/rules-to-survive-zombie-land/

https://schizoidlawi.wordpress.com/2011/05/05/rules-to-survive-zombie-land/

and now to end this END OF THE WORLD CHAPTER i would love to impart on you some advice that will be valuable when the time doth come to ensure your survival 😀

THE GOOD OL’ DAYS (KENYAN VERSION)


THE GOOD OL’ DAYS

~You know you are old when you can’t use “Look at the kettle calling the kettle black” as a comeback nowadays coz the darn kettles use electricity nowadays.

~You know you have had you share of years when your movies used to start with the MGM LION sign.

~You know you had it rough in the good old days when the whole family was clad in the same attire, and family outings were commemorated with pictures of the family in the vicinity of an important national monument…

~I miss the good old days when the chewing gums used to come along with stickers of football stars or stick-on tattoos

~You know you enjoyed life in the good old days when cartoons like Danger Mouse, Pizza Cats, Dexter, Rug Rats, The Flintstones, The Jetsons, Sonic the Hedgehog and games like Pac Man and Super Mario thrilled your youth beyond measure. And to prove my point dare you deny recognizing this bookcase…

~Some say it’s a lie but I tend to believe that the Social Media called “OUTSIDE” basically shaped who we are right now, and instead of having applications like “POKING” there was that painful program called “BLACK-EYE” which earned you points from the parents to go see a show called “GROUNDING (for the more affluent society) while the other society got “THE BELT”.

~Technically if you can remember the K.C.B Bank A.T.M dancing then YES you are old, so stop denying it or that annoying advert for CHPSY COOKING OIL…

~You know you ribs used to get a thorough beating from watching the VIOJA MAHAKAMANI and VITIMBI show; yeah you know those two shows entitled you parents to get family time out of you as a stubborn child: p

So if you have accepted the fact that YOU ARE OLD, how about you share some of your age old stories 😉

My Christmas gift to you


Here in Kenya lets just say Santa never gets directions to many of our homes so our parents make due with buying us Christmas clothes that eventually transform into Sunday Best clothes (a term for clothes you especially love and are only worn on very very special occasions)

so i was bored and decided to go surf the web and look for special pics to go along with the festive week and bring a little cheer if not a simple smile 🙂

some people have decided if you cant get a normalchristmas tree,IMPROVISE 😀

THE ALMIGHTY BEER-TREE

I realize some of us think that Santa has life easy  but the big guy also has his ups and downs that would baffle us to halloween 😀

"When the going gets TOUGH"

OUR LITTLE KENYA IN INDIA


So thanks to a Global Village event me along with other AIESEC Internationals got a chance to colonize a small piece of India to showcase our Motherland’s Heritage coz truth be told some people didn’t have a clue where Kenya was,apart from sharing the same ideology that Sarah Palin has, that Africa is a Country and South Africa is its capital.

So it was cool to educate others on my Kenyan Heritage and showcase that Kenya is not only recognised for it’s Athletes who win positions 1,2,3 most frequently but that we also play and are quite good in Rugby and at certain glimpses of a Blue moon we actually show our worth in Cricket.

And i had to do this at the cost of getting rid of my modern clothing and slipping into something more freeing..i know,i know its not what a traditional guy would wear but hey the point is i gave them a rough sketch of what they look like :p

NAJIVUNIA KUWA MKENYA 😀

The whole event was bloody filled with propaganda and maliciousness :)..am kidding at times we got invaded kindly by the Tunisians…

Me, Anis and Audrey
Jouda, Me, Manel and Audrey

And furthermore we went on ahead to intergrate with our fellow interns…in short we went to check out the competition while having fun at it… (Code for SPYING 🙂 )

Hint: SPYING

All in all it was a fun event… 😀

I had a great time 🙂

I AM AFRAID – EMINEM LYRICS(parody)


“Yeah
It’s been a ride and I had to go through some pretty scary stuff to get where I am today
And once you face your demons there ain’t nothing that can scare you
Well maybe one two things”
Like did you read about that one guy who got buried alive?
They went and put him in the ground without checking if he had died
I’m not afraid to stand up here and speak what’s on my ******* mind
And holy crap can you imagine waking up in a coffin confined
But I digress this song is for me so **** the world
Except for bees ah oh I have this thing about needles
I always feel that I’ll keep bleeding it will truly be the end of me
And that’s the way I feel when I look straight down from a balcony
No ifs ands or buts I’m not afraid of you all knowing me
But when I was 5 I saw ET and now aliens scare me
Also spiders and centipedes are ******* creepy
One of daily exercide of me is bugs start crawling out of me
But what I should have said first is bats are my curse and their ears and their fangs
But the point of all this is I’ve been through the worst
But seriously is it just me or are clowns
The scariest thing in the whole ******* universe
I’m not afraid to take a stand
Just as soon as I wash my hands
We’ll walk this road together through the storm
But if there’s thunder I’ll be gone
So that you that you’re not alone
Just promise me that we’ll stay clear of volcanoes
Yah see I’ve been through so many dark times
I lost track but I never gone through the dark in my basement
That’s too dark and there’s rats
Can’t stand those things
Gnashing tiny teeth don’t laugh
Add a set of wings and they’re as bad as bats
To my fans I’ll never let you down again I’m back
Oh man did I mention attics
I hate attics I’m not melodramatic
It’s just dark spaces make me go ehh
Also walking over those grates in the ground
Relax I ain’t gone stop and freak out
As long as I stay away from large crowds and riptides where I could drown
Oh yah planes are off limits
Cause I don’t know how they get up or back down
So crap is just too scary to think about
What if a shark came on land and started walking
It’s so real ******* weird
They just follow you around
Oh man I didn’t even think about cheetahs
Those mother ******* could run a running shark down
I’m not afraid to take a stand
Just check your boots for scorpions
We’ll bring this world together me and you
But no snakes with us or we’re through
Just let you know that you’re not alone
But if I see a ghost snake you’re on your own
But I just can’t keep living this way
So starting today I’m done being afraid
I’m starting up myself a support group
I’m gonna have it ¿noses? done
Get a therapist join a mailing list
Can’t stop my life like this right now
I am afraid don’t give a damn
Please somebody just take my hand
With all those in the struggles
I did just fine but in the real world I’m terrified
So get me out of this ******* hole
From now on I’ll shoot all my videos at home

Revised Curriculum by Sandra Odundo


Seeing as in this new age of communication is rapidly changing,i wasn’t tht shocked when i was sent a text consisting of the newly revised curriculum of Kenyan Methalis by Sandra Odundo(a very fast uprising star mind you…infact she is coming soon 2 a t.v set near you if that is you are in the 254,well known for starting the phrase Eazaeee) thus she is very credible…

NEW KENYAN METHALIS’
1.Ummoja ni estate,utengano ni setbook
2.Mbio za marathon huishia kwa Balcony
3.Cha mlevi huliwa na Mututho
4.Mwenye macho hanywi chang’aa
5.Asiyekubali kushindwa atakuwa Prime Minister
6.Cha Mututho mwanafuu hu,na akinywa ha
7.Cha mlevi,huliwa na makarao
8.Ukistaajabu ya Musa,haujaona ya Onyancha
9.Mpiga ngumi ukuta ni SONKO
10.Usipoziba ufa,watu watakuchungulia
11.Mwenye nyege haambiwi tazama
12.Kidole kimoja ni jina ya Church ya HELLON
13.Asiyefunzwa na mamaye,hufunzwa na GOOGLE
14.Leo ni Leo msema kesho ni fan wa Arsenal
15.Chelewa chelewa utakosa spot ya kuwa bibi ya Wanjiru..

Its a new age for our future Generation,so stick in school and enjoy this new curriculum