- Man of Steel “In Theaters Now” (evilcritic.wordpress.com)
- Is Man of Steel all about Jesus? Warner Bros hopes Christians think so (io9.com)
- New Epic ‘Man of Steel’ Trailer (comicvine.com)
I know,i know i am kind of hating and obsessing on this super hero stories a bit,but can you blame me wouldn’t you be angry at not having the ability to fly,move at the speed of light and transform into a huge green indestructible creature…
I knew immediately i turned 11 and no huge man a.k.a Hagrid showing up at my door that my wizard future went down the drain,and that since Kenya is still eons away before meddling in super-secret scientific research that my days in the super-hero fantasy limelight would just remain that..a fantasy..So i have obsessed and still wish upon every shooting star that someday..yes,yes i know..i am very delusional…but who are you to call me crazy when y’all still believe in Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny..yes someday i will get my powers :p
So basically here’s a a summary of every super hero origin story as depicted by Caldwell Tanner of College Humor:
So basically am guessing am not the only one who has that inner feeling that am a superhero, the only problem is that i just don’t know how to trigger it. So after years of researching on t.v programmes and movies, i have come up with ways of trying to unlock your inner Hero though none of them have worked for me (yeah i know bummer) but they may work for you.
P.S If any of these mentioned methods DO actually work for you promise to make me your sidekick or else i vow to become a copy of Alexander Luther (Jealous of your Superpowers and constantly plotting your Demise).YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED…SO BEWARE AND BE VERY AWARE.
1. THE BIRTH ASPECT
So basically i bugged my parents every year since i discovered cartoons and realized that humans could become SUPER-HUMANS, that they should prove their parentage, oping and praying that i may have been sent to this world from a foreign planet in danger(sort of like superman), but this dream was soon squashed when they unleashed the ultimate evidence “A video tape of the day i was born” talk about harsh and gross. The next sad moment was when i realised i was the only boy so that meant i would never have a chance at becoming a Wizard whose conditions are that uyou should be The Seventh son of the Seventh son born on the Seventh day of the Seventh month of the Seventh Year :(. Furthermore i was never sired by any Greek/Roman/ Egyptian gods, this was very depressing, think about it if it had been true,i would have bragging rights like..YEAH, AM THE SON OF THE WAR GOD ARES/ MARS :p
2. THE BIRTHDAY ASPECT
The next step was to await those prophesied “Special Ages”. Going by Harry Potter, when i turned 11 i eagerly awaited the letter from Hogwarts which unfortunately was never forthcoming. But hoe was not lost coz in Percy Jackson,when you turned 16 you would be claimed as a demigod….DIDN’T HAPPEN..WHYYYYYYYYY?
3. RADIATION ASPECT
Now this is where things get tricky and dangerous since you can only get this powers “ACCIDENTALLY”, so when i went to get an MRI na dthe machine malfunctioned believe me i think i heard angels singing…but later i discovered that i was still without powers and the only thing i got was a migraine on steroids…So that turned to be an Epic fail… 😦
4. GIFTS FROM THE HEAVENS ASPECT
Yes i am a very persistent chap when it comes to superpowers, so every night i stare at the sky scanning for any falling objects that may be kryptonite or maybe if am remotely lucky “BEN 10’s OMNITRIX”.
Or when a Solar/Lunar Eclipse occurs i run outside hoping for a Re-Run of HEROES to perhaps happen to me…Hey dont look at this post like that,am just hopeful thats all…
5. THE SUPERNATURAL ASPECT
Yes unlike some people i know namely Adam Kiboi, i am NOT afraid of Vampires, in fact i revel in the idea of becoming one, think about it Immortality, Strength, Speed, Agility… but am not talking GAY TWILIGHT VAMPIRES, i mean SCARY DANGEROUS UNDERWORLD VAMPIRES.
Which brings me to this hate i have towards Twilight where the werewolves, those fabled half-man,half-wolf creatures that wreak havoc and instill fear turn into cute cuddly puppies that make my 3yr old Nephew want one..really!as in seriously…THE SHAME…
Anyway back to the main reason for this post. i do humbly request that if anyone has any further nformation on how i can unlock these stubborn superpowers of mine i beseech you to lend a brother a hand.
P.P.S TWILIGHT STILL SUCKS