Tag Archives: murder


The following content has been used as a teaching aid for all parents who let their kids watch such…THEY WILL AUTOMATICALLY TURN INTO SERIAL KILLERS…ENJOY

I am hereby appealing to the bloggers with a weak stomach for any kind of gore or crazy senseless killing to please go to other posts but if curiosity gets the better of you then be warned :p





How to…kill TIME :)

Have you ever felt like time was running to slow? Well that’s an excellent opportunity! You see time is usally going too fast for you to be able to catch. Now you can actaully catch it and you’re also able to kill time!

What if time isn’t running too slow?

Well there are numerous ways of slowing it down again. The two most popular ways are to either chill time down to the absolute zero making it stop completely or to get it close to a Black Hole which will slow it down significantly.

So… How to kill time?

To get started you’ll need some equipment, but don’t worry. If you live in the US all the following equipment can be found in your neighborhood supermarket.

So… What you really need:

  • 1 Really short Shotgun
  • 2 Uzis
  • 1 MP7 (MP5 might work as well but you’ll need a double sized mag for it)
  • 1 Machine Gun (Make sure that you scream and that you do not aim at all while using it. It is preferred that you run out of a jungle too…)
  • 1 Comfy chair
  • 1 Uncomfortable chair (Make sure that you place your own butt on the comfy chair and time in the other)
  • An infinite amount of ammo…
  • A pole made of wood, silver or frozen water

 Time to kill time

Did you get eveything you need? If no: What are you waiting for! Go get the stuff! If yes: What are you waiting for! Kill time! Oh… Thats right you don’t know how to do it yet.

First, place time in the uncomfortable chair for 30 minutes in 250 degrees Celsius. Load all your weapons with an infinite amount of ammo (If you use the MP5 make sure to use double amount of ammo) Now empty the guns in the following order:

  1. Machine Gun
  2. Shotgun
  3. MP7 (or MP5)
  4. Uzis’

Now… Pierce time through the heart with your pole! If you did everything correctly, time will now be killed.

Why would I want to kill time?

  • Why wouldn’t you!
  • No matter what you kill, it’s always fun!
  • Cause if you don’t… time will probably, most likely kill you!
  • To kill time (You get it? Huh? you get it? Why not? It’s funny

What to do when time is dead?

There is a lot of fun to do once time is dead. Since time is important for the laws of physics you will be able to BREAK them after time is killed. The following is a short summary of what to do:

  • Divide by zero
  • Skip School or job
  • Nothing, since you don’t have the time to do anything.
  • Everything except for anything, since you don’t have the time to do anything.
  • Make a funny HowTo page on Uncyclopedia.

Yepp… That’s pretty much it..

‘What THEY think YOU should know’

So after extensive research, and concentrating on more important things than the cure to HIV/AIDS or Cancer the following compilation was reached for the better good of the Human Populus(Meaning you and me :p ),so read and be enlightened coz some of this stuff is actually…interesting :

The word “queue” is the only word in the English language that is still pronounced the same way when the last four letters are removed.

Beetles taste like apples, wasps like pine nuts, and worms like fried bacon.

Of all the words in the English language, the word ‘set’ has the most definitions!

What is called a “French kiss” in the English speaking world is known as an “English kiss” in France.

“Almost” is the longest word in the English language with all the letters in alphabetical order.

“Rhythm” is the longest English word without a vowel.

In 1386, a pig in France was executed by public hanging for the murder of a child

A cockroach can live several weeks with its head cut off!

Human thigh bones are stronger than concrete.

You can’t kill yourself by holding your breath

It’s against the law to have a pet dog in Iceland!

Your heart beats over 100,000 times a day!

Right handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people

Your ribs move about 5 million times a year, everytime you breathe!

The elephant is the only mammal that can’t jump!

One quarter of the bones in your body, are in your feet!

Like fingerprints, everyone’s tongue print is different!

The first known transfusion of blood was performed as early as 1667, when Jean-Baptiste, transfused two pints of blood from a sheep to a young man

Fingernails grow nearly 4 times faster than toenails!

Most dust particles in your house are made from dead skin!

The present population of 5 billion plus people of the world is predicted to become 15 billion by 2080.

Women blink nearly twice as much as men.

Adolf Hitler was a vegetarian, and had only ONE testicle.

More people are killed each year from bees than from snakes.

The average lead pencil will draw a line 35 miles long or write approximately 50,000 English words.

More people are allergic to cow’s milk than any other food.

Camels have three eyelids to protect themselves from blowing sand.

The placement of a donkey’s eyes in its’ heads enables it to see all four feet at all times!

The six official languages of the United Nations are: English, French, Arabic, Chinese, Russian and Spanish.

Earth is the only planet not named after a god.

It’s against the law to burp, or sneeze in a church in Nebraska, USA.

You’re born with 300 bones, but by the time you become an adult, you only have 206.

Some worms will eat themselves if they can’t find any food!

Dolphins sleep with one eye open!

It is impossible to sneeze with your eyes open – DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUH

The worlds oldest piece of chewing gum is 9000 years old!

The longest recorded flight of a chicken is 13 seconds

Queen Elizabeth I regarded herself as a paragon of cleanliness. She declared that she bathed once every three months, whether she needed it or not

Slugs have 4 noses.

Owls are the only birds who can see the colour blue.

A man named Charles Osborne had the hiccups for 69 years – I think i like that special number 😉

A giraffe can clean its ears with its 21-inch tongue!

The average person laughs 10 times a day!

An ostrich’s eye is bigger than its brain