Tag Archives: rules

ZOMBIE 101:THINK YOU WILL SURVIVE


Considering that ye’ people of little faith still refuse to take heed to my srvival lessons in the event of a ZOMBIE OUTBREAK, i  hall still be that voice in the wild,preaching what the ALL-KNOWING TUBE a.k.a THE T.V , and my fellow Ramblers who are deemed crazy weeeeeeeeeeeeeell SHAME ON YOU,i dare you to watch Cabin In the Woods and tell me which character survives and am not talking about the Chick(who btw i still think survived on luck :p)

So now that am done venting here are some tips with visual aides to help the message sink in a bit better

FOR MORE RULES VISIT:http://www.zombielandrules.com

SURVIVING ZOMBIELAND

Ofcourse you have to be fit,how else do you think you are going to outrun those skinny zombies when you can’t even walk to the fridge?

The only sure way to make sure a Zombie is dead is shoot it in the head….then shoot it again just to be safe…

There is nothing as bad as being caught in you most vulnerable state where your defenses are down and that is why sometimes irregular bowel movements in the wrong place might just get you killed…

Hey am not saying you be chum-buddies with the psychopath,just tag along with him coz chances of your survival are high considering shooting stuff is this guy’s hobby and as such zombie land is this guy’s ultimate theme park

For those scenarios you forget to follow rule 31(The one bellow) its always good to wear a seat-belt so that you can use an accident to your advantage and let the zombie go flying through your windshield…yeah sounds like a plan right?

Somehow people easily forget this rule coz they are in a hurry to get away from some other zombies,so when you get into a vehicle why not check the backseat just in-case there was a zombie just chilling there,trying to catch a break from all that raw meat eating…

Again i say,you NEED to be FIT,so before you venture to go search some new place that may have zombies how bout you warm up a bit coz am just thinking that maybe if you pull a hamstring at the wrong place you are officially Zombie chow..you dig?

Seriously as a grown adult, you need to understand that walking into a room with only one exit…is just plain DUMB,so when you decide you need to go look for food or some chick to save,how about first you figure out which exits you can use in-case you get chased by the Undead?

I repeat….DO NOT BE A HERO…that will just get you killed…how sure are you that while being that knight in shining armor,you wont get killed and this chick you just saved,survives and goes on to get knocked up by some soldier at the Survival Camp…ALL EFFORT WAS FOR NOTHING…

IGNORE THIS RULE…IGNORE!!IGNORE!!IGNORE!!

I think this one will be the hardest rule ever for the male species 😦

So basically i understood this rule to mean…STEAL THE STUFF YOU HAVE ALWAYS WANTED coz who knows when the next zombie season will be 🙂

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REASONS WHY NOT TO BE A HERO::BIBLICAL::


So incase of TE END OF THE WORLD scenarios i would direct you to my other posts:

https://schizoidlawi.wordpress.com/2011/05/05/rules-to-survive-zombie-land/

https://schizoidlawi.wordpress.com/2011/05/05/rules-to-survive-zombie-land/

and now to end this END OF THE WORLD CHAPTER i would love to impart on you some advice that will be valuable when the time doth come to ensure your survival 😀

Battle of The Sexes:ROUND 2


At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down

Finally , the guys’ side of the story.
( I must admit, it’s pretty good.)
We always hear ‘the rules’
From the female side.

Now here are the rules from the male side.

Please note.. These are all numbered ‘1’

ON PURPOSE!

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It’s like the full moon
Or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. ‘Yes’ and ‘No’ are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it.

That’s what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you think you’re fat, you probably are.
Don’t ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color..

Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say ‘nothing,’ we will act like nothing’s wrong
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to,

Expect an answer you don’t want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere,

absolutely anything you wear is fine… Really .

1. Don’t ask us what we’re thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
But did you know men really don’t mind that? It’s like camping


Haven. . .