Addressing Rape Culture


Add your Voice and #StopRapeCulture

will this be a problem?

[Trigger Warning: This article may be traumatising to victims of rape and sexual assault.]

A girl you know has a reputation for taking a different guy home every time she is at the club. A man who has been watching her decides that if she said yes to the first 20 then his is also implied… When she goes to the police for help they question her about the number of sexual partners she had, what she was wearing, whether she was drunk. They dismiss her case and blame it on her history of being a slut. She goes home dejected and vows not to speak up again. If the case makes it to court, she faces the risk of having her entire sexual history dragged out by the judge and this will add to her humiliation.

A young woman goes to a party with friends. A guy who has…

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Vote for Madness


VOTE ..THEN VOTE…THEN VOTE AGAIN…WHY NOT?

Do Not Feed The Bloggers

You may have heard that we’ve been nominated for Best Creative Writing Blog for the Kenyan Blog Awards 2014.  Cue unseemly celebration with terrible dancing and everything. I’d like to thank all you sick twisted people who nominated us. We will take you with us when we take over the world so don’t forget to vote for us here:

http://www.blogawards.co.ke/vote/

As for you new readers. Why should you vote for us? First, meet the bloggers.

Left to Right: Fred, Nat, Gachagua, Aggrey, Liv Left to Right: Fred, Nat, Gachagua, Aggrey, Liv

Gachagua

I’m the boss around these parts. I’ve been kindly informed several times that sanity is not my strong point.

You can read about my (succesful) quest to find the funniest book ever here

My thoughts on cartoons here

And my adventures with withdoctors here and here.

 Liv

Meet Olivia. Aka BBB (Big Breasted Blogger) our resident cynic.

Are you happy? Let her disabuse you of…

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This is Funny, NO?


So before we get to the funnies, here is one for the Game Of Thrones Fans:

Game of Thrones characters re-imagined in 80s/90s style

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Now back to what you here for:

If we could have any voice for our nav system, we’d choose Morgan Freeman. YouTuber Josh Robert Thompson envisions a GPS that not only sounds awesome, but also provides sage advice.

So i hope you got into the Morgan Freeman rhythm,because guess what he is back again in a new movie best described as:

It’s like “Limitless”… but with a girl.

The movie is : “Lucy” (Feat. Scarlett Johansson)

And here is to my Best Villain of all time:

THE JOKER

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GAME OF THRONES “SOCIAL MEDIA|

The “Game of Thrones” title sequence just got a nifty makeover by Hootsuite, featuring Facebook, Instagram, WhatsApp, Google, YouTube, Twitter, Snapchat and LinkedIn.

 

All Things Disney


I know,I know,no new posts from me Bah! even i manage to scrap up some busy schedules,but fear not i have you covered,Going down memory lane on this chilled out day watching disney movies with my Nephew(Cool dude btw),so i decided why not do one for all-times-sake and troll the Internet and try muddle your childhood memories.

(Keep in mind i tried to make the compilations pretty PG..) 😛

Courtesy of Dorkly…google..DeviantArt..those recommended for you helpful links,but mostly Dorkly (All hail Dorkly)

If Disney Characters Were In ‘The Walking Dead’ (Of-course i had to start with this one,being a #TeamZombie Fan)

BY KASAMI SENSEI / MARCH 21, 2014

Disney movies always end a little too happily, right? There’s not enough nihilistic violence, tragic and gruesome deaths, and DEFINITELY not enough zombies. Luckily, artist Kasami Sensei has solved that issue by putting your favorite Disney characters in a post-apocalyptic world of zombies.

Welcome to The Walking Disney.

If Disney Characters Were In The Walking Dead

If Disney Characters Were In The Walking Dead

If Disney Characters Were In The Walking Dead

If Disney Characters Were In The Walking Dead

If Disney Characters Were In The Walking Dead

If Disney Characters Were In The Walking Dead

If Disney Characters Were In The Walking Dead

If Disney Characters Were In The Walking Dead

 


Check out more on Kasami Sensei’s DeviantArt gallery!

Disney Princesses as Game of Thrones Characters

BY DJEDJEHUTI 

Disney Princesses as Game of Thrones Characters

Check out DjeDjehuti’s DeviantArt gallery for more!

Want More specific Character Mash-ups?

Merida:

Ariel:

Snow White:

And lets not forget Pocohantas:

Still Thirsty or more artwork visit:

Dorkly Princess Mash-Ups

When Memes Collide: Grumpy Cat as Disney Characters


By Amanda Bell

Tsaoshin at DeviantART Tsaoshin at DeviantART

Everybody (at least, everyone on the internet) loves a good set of memes, and for obvious reasons we have a particular fancy for the movie-related sort. But apart from Tommy Lee Jones’ pissed face at the Golden Globes, there’s been very little opportunity to offer up a crossover with one of the web’s best-ever meme creations, Grumpy Cat … ’til now, that is.

Presenting Grumpy Cat animated in as various Disney characters. It’s pretty much everything you’ve been waiting for…and then some.

Our pals at Laughing Squid unearthed this piece of viral gold from the wondrous depths of DeviantART. The artist captioned each of the pics with appropriate insertions of “No,” Grumpy Cat’s own catchphrase, but we figured why not have a little fun with it and see if any of the movies’ own lyrics or catty lines match up with the pics? Continue reading When Memes Collide: Grumpy Cat as Disney Characters

YOU SHALL NOT TELEVISE?


“You will not be able to plug-in, turn on and cop-out.

You will not be able to skip out for beer during commercials,

Because the revolution will not be televised. . . .

The revolution will be live.”

   –From the 1970 hit song by Gil Scott-Heron

Kenya Film Classification Board????

About 5 days ago you may not have had an idea that these guys were operational,  but yet they sent a stern reminder that they shouldn’t be cast in the same light of legends such as the Illuminati and whether or not its true that The United States of America is spying on us( Still waiting on Ministry of Security to tell us otherwise).

My dear avid fan The Kenya Film Classification Board banned WOLF ON WALL STREET: “There is a LIMIT to everything and we believe the Kenyan public deserves better. WOLF OF WALLSTREET has been RESTRICTED. The film is NOT for sale, exhibition or distribution in KENYA. Violators shall be PROSECUTED.” Continue reading YOU SHALL NOT TELEVISE?

The Guide to Selfies for Men


By

Good evening gentleman. Do you feel like you’ve been doing a little too much self-reflecting these days?

1

The 15 Biggest Online Time Killers

Need to check your Facebook News Feed just one more time? Or see what people are listening to on YouTube? Want to check your email for the zillionth time? What’s the rage on Reddit right now? Are you still the highest bidder on that weird gizmo on eBay? Continue reading The Guide to Selfies for Men

Gorgeous Illustrated Portraits of ‘American Horror Story: Coven’ Characters


Thought i Should share this with the masses, even though am yet to give it a look-see…too excited to be disappointed…but what the hell,American Horror Story only gets more twisted and sinister..AWESOME!
I would have gone for :”Amazing Illustrated Portraits of..” seeing as Gorgeous denotes the gruesomeness of the series,ay?

Flavorwire

Perhaps the most entertaining parts of American Horror Story: Coven are the characters. Even more fun to watch, I’d argue, are the women who play them. Jessica Lange and crew are clearly having a ton of fun camping it up on the anthology series, playing their roles with equal amounts of glee and pathos, and bringing the soap opera genre to new heights. But really, these women are fierce, and it’s that sensibility that can be found in the work of Patricio Oliver, who has illustrated the major witches on the show in these beautiful and sultry character portraits. Check out Oliver’s collection after the jump. 

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2013 in TV: The Year Art Gave Us an Appetite for Trash


C’mon Breaking Bad was better than best and though it might share some semblance with Jenji Kohan’s”Weeds”,It proved more entertaining..The rest after it were not quite captivating.

Flavorwire

On the face of it, 2013 was just as strong a year as any in recent memory for the kind of prestige programming that has critics declaring a contemporary golden age of television. It was the year when one of TV’s most ambitious dramas, Breaking Bad, performed its swan song for over ten million viewers, a number that would make any network executive jealous. It was the year when Netflix not only resurrected the too-smart-for-primetime sitcom Arrested Development but also launched two equally intelligent (and arguably stronger) shows, Orange Is the New Black and House of Cards. It was even the year when books on the subject — namely, Brett Martin’s Difficult Men and Alan Sepinwall’s The Revolution Was Televised — started appearing to solidify this creeping consensus for posterity.

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The Best Metal Albums of 2013 (in Order of How Afraid I Am of the Cover)


From Jake Fertig

10. Vastum – Patricidal Lust

Coming right out of the gate you know you’re gonna love this because there’s a big-ass bat on the cover

9. Svart Crown – Profane


This is a very good album about how a guy’s mom was mean

8. Red Fang – Whales and Leeches

You can tell this one is good because of the evil rainforest

7. Cara Neir – Portals to a Better, Dead World


This album is great for everyone who would prefer to be dead

6. Noisem – Agony Defined

Don’t be fooled by the “basic” blood pentagrams this band has a very deep skull collection

5. TOAD – Endless Night


A lesser band puts stir fry on the cover but a good metal record will make that wok a cauldron of hellfire

4. Ruins of Beverast – Blood Vaults: The Blazing Gospel of Heinrich Kramer


A rule of thumb for metal is that if Evil Yoda is having a bad time you’re gonna have a good time

3. Satan – Life Sentence


We are all thankful that the band originally called Seitan realized their preference for Lucifer over tofu

2. Cerekloth – In the Midst of Life We Are in Death

This album is all about rebelling against institutions and dental appointments

1. Obscure Sphinx – Void Mother

When it comes to scaring me into liking your record, two glass eyes are better than one.

Missed the Cut:

 

Deafheaven – Sunbather

 

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This looks soft as hell

Arnold Schwarzenegger’s Movie Kill Count


Arnold Schwarzenegger’s movie kill count includes ice cream, assisted suicides

Sparing neither man nor animal nor giant, slimy snake, the good folks over at Auralnauts have collected every single one of Arnold Schwarzenegger’s on-screen fatalities and posted it on YouTube just in time for Christmas.

The Governator’s largest killing spree comes courtesy of 1985’s Commando—perhaps because that film opens with Arnold petting a baby deer, and all magic has a price. The creative endings range from simple strangulation to alien explosives, with many semi-automatic weapons used in between.

You can watch the entire 28-minute compilation with or without commentary, though the chatter does provide a little context for oddities like Schwarzenegger’s bit parts on ‘70s TV show The Streets of San Francisco.

RED vs BLUE


If The Matrix Was Realistic
Morpheus: 

Do you want to know the truth, Neo?

Neo:

I do.

Morpheus:

Unfortunately, I cannot just tell you about The Matrix. For you to understand it you must experience for yourself, and once you experience it there is no turning back,  do you understand?

Neo:

Yes.

Morpheus:

Very well then. Now you must choose. Take the blue pill, and you forget about all this, and wake up in your bed believing what your told like none of this ever happened. Take the red pill, you stay in Wonderland and I show you how deep the rabbit hole goes.

Neo:

What’s that now?

Morpheus:

Take the blue pill, and you forget —

Neo:

No, I heard what you said. I just don’t know if I feel comfortable taking random pills from you. I mean, we literally just met.

Morpheus:

There comes a point in everyones life when they must make a choice. For you that time is now.

Neo:

I get it. I just really wish that there was a choice that didn’t involve me taking really shady looking pills. Like seriously, look at those things. Were they even in a bottle, or did you just let them float around in your pockets?

Morpheus:

I can assure you, my pockets are clean. Now make your choice.

Neo:

I’m not taking anything.

Morpheus:

Why? Are you afraid of the truth?

Neo;

No, I’m afraid those pills are gonna knock me out, and you’re gonna do stuff to me, or steal my kidneys or some shit.

Morpheus:

Even if I wanted to steal your kidneys, I could not. For you see, what you perceive as to be kidneys is merely an illusion.

Neo:

Saying shit like that really isn’t making me feel more comfortable.

Morpheus:

Please make a choice Neo. I think you may be The One.

Neo:

Okay, fine. Let’s say you are telling the truth, and let’s say I want to see The Matrix. What the fuck does the red pill even do?

Morpheus:

I don’t understand.

Neo:

Like I understand why you’d give me a pill to make me forget about things, but what is the purpose of the red pill?

Morpheus:

I dunno. I guess it’s really more of a symbolic thing….

Neo:

A symbolic thing. Gotcha… Okay, well, you’re clearly a crazy person so I think I’m just gonna go now.

Morpheus:

Neo, I believe the fate of humanity may rest on your shoulders.

Neo:

Yeah. Sure. Whatever you say. You’re lucky I don’t call the fucking cops.

Neo Exits.

Morpheus: 

I’m starting to suspect he is not The One.

The Matrix’s Red Pill is the Same as The Bible’s Red Apple (lunaticoutpost.com)
The Matrix: Imprisonment and Freedom (kzyrapayte.wordpress.com)
Morpheus: “This… (empoweringyourworld.wordpress.com)

Being a Woman in Kenya Part 1 #KenyaRapeCulture by @TheMumBi


The Voiceless

Ignition

A whole life subversively conditioned to the possibility of being violated, sexually assaulted or raped. Worse still is the likely possibility of your sisters, your mother, your loved ones being as violated and you being *powerless* to bring address to it. This is the life of women in Kenya.

‘Sit like this. Wear dark colours. Only loose women wear bold colours. Don’t stay out at night.. Your curfew is 9pm.. only loose women stay out at night! Don’t drink beer or alcohol. That sends out the wrong message and we did not bring up a prostitute in this home! Only rebellious loose women smoke!’ Come back straight from work.. no credible woman can say she was having meetings throughout the evening. And stay out of politics. Politics is for loose or divorced women.’

So you dress not to “call attention”  .. you talk ~either overly aggressive or lowly “not to call…

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HUSTLE: KENYAN EDITION


When we were conned: Swindlers who had field day.

by- John Kamau

The more fantastic they made their claims, the more people fell under their spell.

2

They ranged from brazen liars to perfect and polished con artists.

They came as swindlers, conmen, opportunists, ne’er-do-wells and charlatans.

Some came in the name of God – and when they were finished with their gullible and at times unsuspecting victims, they simply disappeared whence they came from.

The more fantastic they made their claims – the more Kenyans fell under their spell.

The media, public officials and big corporates, all fell for their tricks.

We bring you the story of the biggest confidence tricksters of the last 50 years.

Eric Awori, the ‘‘champion’’ reverse driver

Eric Awori pulled one of the most adventurous con tricks ever seen in independent Kenya.

It was in 1985, when he convinced the media that he had driven a car in reverse from Mombasa to Nairobi, then to Nakuru, Rongai and back to Nairobi, hoping to break the world record.

Awori had told the press that he practised on “private roads” and was keen on breaking the world record, then held by American Gerald Hoagland.

Westlands Motors gave him a new Toyota Corolla to drive, while many other sponsors donated in cash and kind as Awori prepared to become ‘‘the first African motorist to hold a world record’’.

“I took it as a personal challenge. If this American could do it, why not me?” he told the press after “finishing” the gruelling journey.

For “achieving” that feat, he was feted at a reception held at the Hilton Hotel, where he received the global award.

He then announced to motor company executives that he planned to set off another world breaking record by reversing a 7-tonne lorry from Nairobi to Mombasa.

For that D.T Dobie donated a giant Mercedez-Benz truck which was to be loaded with building materials donated by Mombasa traders for building a new Harambee classroom.

DT Dobie also donated fuel worth Sh10,000, while Daily Nation reported that “Mr John Miller, an independent adjudicator for Guinness Book of Records”, had arrived in Nairobi.

Awori said he planned to leave Mombasa on December 11 and arrive at Uhuru Park on December 12 during the Jamhuri Day celebrations.

Assistant minister Sharrif Nassir flagged off Awori on the night of December 11, but nobody knows what happened after that.

Telex messages were sent to Kenya News Agency on his progress and final arrival in Nairobi.

The last one was from “John Miller” from the Guiness Book of Records “confirming” that Awori had broken another record.

After being celebrated as a Kenyan hero, Awori announced that he was now going to attend the “620-km Kiwi Auto Reverse Rally” in New Zealand’s Newbury Ranch Farm.

The Daily Nation captured the moment he arrived: “A tired-looking Eric Awori and his service crew arrived in Auckland, New Zealand, yesterday morning, where a crowd of about 5,000 enthusiasts of reverse drive were waiting to give him a rousing welcome….

Awori spent about one hour at the airport chatting to the crowd and signing autographs before going to his hotel.

Over 3,500 copies of Daily Nation with Awori’s profile found their way to Auckland yesterday and all copies sold out within half an hour of arrival. More copies have been ordered from Nairobi…”

Daily Nation was one of the sponsors who had lined up to support Awori.

On February 10, 1986, a telex was sent to the newsrooms confirming that “Awori has re-written motoring history by becoming the first African driver ever to win a contest in a European country.”

The papers reported that he had driven his Kenyan assembled Toyota Corolla, and won after driving in reverse for 31 hours 55 minutes “through some of the most rugged murrum and tarmac roads in Auckland.”

He had been “assisted by two Gikomba Jua Kali mechanics 60-year-old Mzee Peter Kuria and Ali Omar”.

But something was not adding up.

There were no photos and the New Zealand High Commission in Nairobi said there was no such event.

Summoned by Daily Nation editors to prove he went to New Zealand, Awori failed to table photographs.

The CID arrested him later and charged him with fraud.

What emerged later was that the truck was actually not driven in reverse from Mombasa.

There was nobody from Guinness.

Awori did not travel to New Zealand.

All the telex sent came from a Nairobi office on Mama Ngina Street where Awori coordinated his lies.

In the few months, he had received air tickets, money, hotel accommodation and gifts worth thousands of shillings.

He was also a celebrity.

___________________________________

DICK BERG and the All Africa games

In 1987, Kenya hosted the All Africa games that saw the building of Moi Sports Complex, Kasarani.

During the preparations, one Dick Berg, a US citizen, arrived in Nairobi and told ministry officials that his firm, Berg and Associates, could help collect over Sh224 million for the Nairobi games, having achieved a similar feat for the Los Angeles Olympics in 1984.

Unfortunately, nobody checked these facts.

Berg was granted exclusive business rights to market the games and brought on board Coca-Cola and House of Manji among other companies.

According to Henry Kosgey, then minister of Culture and Sports, they did not know that Berg was “an international crook.”

While he was to market the games internationally, the ministry only received Sh5 million before Berg fled out of the country without submitting the final accounts.

He later claimed that he feared for his life and that was the last Kenyans heard of him and the promised Sh224 million.

___________________________________

Mohammed Khashoggi, the fake Saudi billionaire’s son

He told his victims that he was the son of Saudi billionaire Adnan Khashoggi – and that appeared to work.

The 34-year-old Kenyan trickster left an astonishing trail of victims of his wily ruses in Mombasa, Nairobi and London.

British newspapers thought his real name was Fred Achieng’, but nothing else was known about this man who always spotted a Yasser Arafat-style kaffiye and spoke with a refined accent that made his victims believe he was a senior executive of a multinational company with interests in Europe, the US, Asia, and Africa.

Hotels loved him because he was a big spender.

In some four months in UK, he had accrued bills of £200,000 before he was arrested.

The head of CID, Noah Arap Too, later admitted that Mr “Khashoggi” once posed as a security intelligence agent before three five-star hotels took him in, thinking he was an international pianist.

And the man was indeed a talented pianist.

In the 1980s, he was employed as a cabaret artist, and he managed to swindle hundreds of tourists and establishments.

It took the management of one prestigious hotel the whole of 1994 to discover that the man they had contracted to play the piano was a confidence trickster.

In Mombasa, he targeted affluent but gullible business people. Many thought he was a genuine clearing and forwarding executive who could help at the Mombasa port.

The son of a former Permanent Secretary, he booked himself in a presidential suite of a hotel where he accumulated a bill of Sh150,000 before telling managers that they would be paid by Kanyotu International – possibly a reference to the dreaded head of Special Branch, James Kanyotu.

It was from this hotel that he conned a Mombasa businessman of Sh20 million after convincing him that his firm had won a multi-million shilling tender to supply equipment to the Kenya Ports Authority.

He had told the businessman that he (Khashoggi) could help the businessman to procure the equipment cheaply since he had links to crane manufacturing companies in Europe.

In 1988, a British court had convicted the then 26-year-old of fraud and theft and jailed him for four years.

His victims included hotel tycoon Allen Sheppard, then owner of the Grand Metropolitan Hotel Group, who was conned into giving weeks of five-star hospitality to the penniless guest.
The trickster had approached Mr Sheppard to protest at being kicked out of the Grand Met’s Forum Hotel in London’s West End by the doorman.

He convinced Mr Sheppard that arms dealer Khashoggi was his father forcing the hotelier to apologise and order the Forum to roll out the red carpet for the billionaire’s son. The police later discovered that the man was actually a lowly paid hotel porter!

_______________________________________

PYRAMIDS OF PAIN

When George Donde crafted the Development entrepreneurship and Community Initiative (Deci) in 2006, he told his victims that he would double their cash.

They believed him and they lined up with cash hoping to make a fortune after only three months of investing.

The initial “customers” actually got paid, but that only lured them and more others into the trap.

Pastors and bishops

Deci sold its concept through pastors and bishops – who were the first victims.

They convinced their congregations to put money into the scheme.

Another one, Clip Investment Cooperative Society, was promising to pay 120 per cent interest on money collected from members to finance the publication of a Christian book, Rise up Again.

Others which operated along the same “investment” line included Bright Vision, Jitegemee, Akiba Micro Finance, Acid, Sasanet, Kenya Business, Global, Circuit, Swop Silver Ventures, and Fino.

Of these, the most complex was Sasanet, which had been registered in 2003 to offer premium rate and national payphone services.

It created the Sasanet Investment Co-operative Society Limited, which lured investors to put money into the project.

The majority of investors had contributed between Sh1 million and Sh2 million to have a stake in what was to be a multi-billion shilling venture with high returns.

But it was just hype – a high-sounding nothing.

___________________________________

Grace Aluma, the fake Ugandan billionaire

In 1982, Ugandan trickster Grace Aluma arrived in Nairobi masquerading as a billionaire.

She told her gullible listeners that she was engaged in uranium business and was scouting for big deals with the US government, one of her customers.

Top names, including politicians, fell for that ruse and hoping to have a share of the $100 million (Sh8.6 billion at current exchange rate) which Aluma claimed to have in a Kenyan bank.

For those doubting her, she would flash some obviously forged documents as she collected money from various institutions eager to do business with her.

As an “investor”, she had managed to sell her story to some diplomats and was on the verge of selling International Life House to a diplomatic mission when she was smoked out.

But that was not before she had conned Kenya Commercial Bank, Swissair, Westlands Motors, UN consultant Dr Victor Johnson and Bahati MP Fred Omido of significant amounts of money.

Aluma was later jailed for two years on a charge of fraud and conspiracy to defraud a city bank of Sh100,000.

_________________________________

GENERAL MATHENGE, the Ethiopian farmer

Lemma Ayanu was a victim of this con just as were millions of Kenyans.

Amid his government’s and his own protestations, he was flown into Kenya in May 2003 as the missing Mau Mau leader, General Mathenge.

Top leaders had congregated at the Jomo Kenyatta International Airport to witness the arrival of Gen Mathenge.

Ayanu was accompanied by four of his relatives and for days, former Mau Mau leaders dismissed his credentials.

He could not speak Kikuyu language and only spoke Amharic.

Ethiopian Embassy insisted that Ayanu was an ordinary farmer and wondered why the Kenya government was carrying a DNA test on him.

At the end of the Gen Mathenge episode, the government had spent about Sh1.5 million in accommodation, transport and meals.

________________________________

MIRACLE BABIES

In 2004, Mrs Eddah Odera, 56 and post-menopausal, claimed to have given birth to 13 “miracle babies” between 1999 and 2004 with no contact with a man.

The miracle babies turned out to be part of a major human trafficking syndicate involving two clinics in Nairobi, Mrs Mary Juma Deya and her husband Gilbert Deya, who lived in the UK as a “Pastor.”

Mrs Deya and her accomplices were later jailed.

_______________________________

DIBLA AMELIA, the Queen of Sheba

When Dibla Amelia George arrived in Nairobi in the first week of December 2001, she booked herself at the Grand Regency and told those who cared to be conned that she was the Queen of Sheba.

She said she had come to Kenya in search of diamonds.

She was booked by the family of some drug baron into the Presidential suite.

From here, she called a press conference, which was widely covered, to announce that she was seeking opportunities to invest Sh15 billion.
At the Regency, she had accrued a bill of Sh3.4 million, and the hotel security refused to let her leave until she cleared.

Her friends tried to intervene but she ended up before Nairobi Magistrate who released her on a Sh500,000 bond.

On the night of January 30, she was whisked to the airport and the Queen of Sheba disappeared.

_________________________________

ARTUR BROTHERS

The Artur brothers. They were implicated in the raid on the Standard Media Group. PHOTO/FILE

In 2006, two Armenians arrived in the country and managed to hoodwink everyone.

Mr Artur Margaryan and Mr Artur Sargsyan were international criminals.

They had managed to worm themselves into the Kenya security system and got “appointed” as Deputy Commissioners of Police.

They had VIP passes for JKIA and wined and dined with the powerful.

They had a house in Runda where they threw overnight parties, drove diplomatic cars and carried pistols openly.

They were implicated in the raid on the Standard Media Group.

After they went berserk at the airport and assaulted immigration officers, President Kibaki sacked the CID director Joseph Kamau and formed a commission of inquiry.

Also implicated was Winnie Wangui, the daughter of the current Othaya MP, Mary Wambui. Winnie was a girlfriend of one of the crooks.

When police raided their Runda home, they found a cache of guns and ammunition, balaclava helmets and a number of T-shirts branded QRU (Quick Response Unit) which the hooded raiders at The Standard Group offices wore.

B

 

The Grammar will kill you if the humor doesn't (O_O)