STONER ADVISORY:EXTREME HIGH


READER DISCRETION IS ADVISED

So genuinely some of you had a clue that this was eventually going to happen…so after much consideration and proper such of the interweb for pictorial aides and boredom to boot i said why not…lets do a piece on WEED/MARIJUANA/GANJA/SPLIFF/FLIGHT SIMULATION/STICKY ICKY among other infamous names 🙂

So to some newcomers of this herb turned HAPPY STICK who are not able to recognize the symptoms of a basic high i highly advise you to read this article in the hopes that you better understand THE HEIGHTS you reach 🙂

SYMPTOMS

1. PARANOIA:

Yes this is that moment when you feel as if everyone knows that you are high and that there is a conspiracy about the Police and the C.I.A are out to get you—->

2. REALITY IN HD:

Eventually some stoners star seeing their reality in dimensions they could never have imagined before…yes this is called TRIPPIN —->

3.WISDOM PHASE:

That point in time where discussions are held and anything you fellow stoner friends say somehow makes undeniable sense…unfortunately these discussions are yet to lead to a cancer cure but some are still hopeful—–>

4.MUNCHIES (HUNGER GAMES) PHASE:

THE BEST PART is when you have the sudden urge to eat anything and everything…our tastebuds at this point prove to be disfunctional because you come up with the weirdest of combo foods that no sane man would dare try.. i.e CORNFLAKES AND UNDILUTED JUICE(as in really…)

WARNING

However though some may enjoy their heights courtesy of the herb i highly advise that one should halt any further ganja intake once effects like the ones below start to take shape 😀

EXHIBIT A:

EXHIBIT B:

EXHIBIT C:

FURTHER WARNING:

In case you are looking forward towards purchasing some spliff i would highly advise you to NOT do the following as emphasized in the following post plagiarized from the writer ROSIE on COLLEGE HUMOR.COM :p

SCENARIO 1:Are you my guy? Are you the guy I’m meeting? My friend said you’d be wearing a hat. That’s not very descriptive though, there are like 30 people out here wearing hats. My boy said to just drop his name. So here it goes. Ryan. Does that do anything for you? Do you know Ryan? Cool, I guess you’re my guy. Ryan’s guy with the hat, what a foolproof method, can’t go wrong there.

SCENARIO 2:So he said you had good stuff at a fair price. No, I don’t want weed idiot, I want cannabis sativa. Oh, right, I was just joking. So how much tetrahydrocannabinol is in this? You don’t know? I feel like that’s something you should know. You would be a horrible salesman in the real world. Sorry, sorry, I’m just saying.

SCENARIO 3:I don’t know how much I want. How much is enough for me to get high, but not too high, just like a medium high. Is a pound enough to get me high…better give me two, just in case? An eighth? Of a pound? Oh right, ounce, I knew that. A dime bag? Wow, it’s that cheap. In that case give me like 20 dime bags. I thought drugs were a lot more expensive, I guess the economy’s doing well.

SCENARIO 4:So once I have it I just tie up and shoot it up into my arm right? Snort it? Smoke it? Can’t I just eat it plain? Gotcha! I’m just messing with you man. But seriously, can I just eat it? No? Ok.

SCENARIO 5:What the hell is this?!? What are you trying to sell me? A clump of green dirt? Are you trying to pull a fast one on me? Listen up mister and listen up well, I’m no fool. I looked up marijuana on Wikipedia. I know it’s a leaf with a lot of pretty petals. This stuff looks like dried up leprechaun feces.

SCENARIO 6:So what are the effects? I want to experience the world in a new light. What’s it going to do to me? I have Attention Deficit Disorder with a tad bit of severe depression, could that be a problem? My health teacher in high school said marijuana is a gateway drug. Is that true? Will I be snorting coke off a prostitute’s ass next week? This may be a bad idea. I’m really starting to freak out!

SCENARIO 7:Are you a cop?!? You don’t look like a cop, but you could be undercover. Show me your badge! A cop can’t refuse to show you his badge if he’s a cop. I saw that on a show once. Fine, I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you’re not a cop.  But if you are I’ll be very disappointed. I hate being lied to.

SCENARIO 8:Oh, while I’m here, do you have any opium? We were talking about that in my history class the other day, sounded pretty cool. No? That’s OK. What about tobacco?  Oh, that’s legal? Convenience store, got it.

SCENARIO 9:Actually all I have on me is my debit card? Do you take Visa? No? Oh man, guess this transaction isn’t going down today…I’ll come back another time.

THE END

P.S The writer of this blog is doing this piece entirely on a hypothetical scenario,if any reader should agree with its contents then its their due right and as such the writer is in no way responsible for behavioral change or habit picking 😛

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