And your crybaby whinny opinion would be…?
I started out with nothing and still have most of it left.
I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
Does your train of thought have a caboose?
Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
A PBS mind in an MTV world.
Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
Suburbia: where they tear out the trees and then name streets after them.
Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.
Not all men are annoying. Some are dead.
I’m trying to imagine you with a personality.
A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you haven’t fallen asleep yet.
Can I trade this job for what’s behind door number 1?
I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted a paycheck.
Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
Macho Law prohibits me from admitting I’m wrong.
Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
Chaos, panic, and disorder — my work here is done.
I plead contemporary insanity.
How do I set a laser printer to stun?
Meandering to a different drummer.
Rights of this humor are credited to http://yougottobekidding.wordpress.com/2011/09/03/work-sayings-2/